Keegan, a Toilet and The Reason England Fans Must Cherish The Current Era

Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to find out that Big Website columnist Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking through the school acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “empty”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There exists a Dr Seuss poem called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|